GMAS 47  I'm Yours Outtake
by SheeWolf85
Summary: By reader request, this is the outtake from Give Me a Sign, chapter 47; Jake and Leah's conversation. GMAS is required to understand what's going on. O/S, AU/AH, M for language.


A/N: Because of the unexpectedly huge amount of requests I got, I am posting this outtake from chapter 47 of Give Me a Sign. I wrote this so I could better get into Jake's head and make the whole last bit of 47 more understandable and believable. It's short, and I didn't put as much energy into it as I did for the actual chapter, but hopefully it's worthy.

Enjoy! I don't own any of these characters. Except the brief memory of Casey :)

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><p><span>Give Me a Sign<span>

Outtake from Chapter Forty-Seven

I'm Yours

Jacob's conversation with Leah

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><p><em><strong>Jacob<strong>_

Sunday was one of the worst days I'd ever had. There was so little to do at work, it was a miracle anyone actually kept busy. We had to keep on coming until the last of it was done. Five more goddamn days.

All day, I kept thinking about Nessie and the day before. I'd never been very good at making things right when they got this fucked up. I knew deep down that if I pretended nothing had happened, it would cause irreversible damage and we'd break apart. I just didn't want to keep hurting her. If I could just get a grip on my anger and stay calm long enough to hear her out, maybe we could work something out.

I went home preparing myself for whatever Nessie might want to talk about. I decided I wouldn't push it yet. I'd let her set the pace and hopefully stay calm. Everything was quiet when I walked in.

"Ness? I'm home, babe."

She didn't answer. I checked the dining room and the kitchen again, but she wasn't there. I called her name again as I walked down the hall. My stomach was in knots when I saw the empty bed. I checked both bathrooms and my dad's room. I thought my heart might explode from how hard it was beating as I all but ran back down the hall to check for any notes on the counter. Nothing.

"Nessie, come on . . ." Fuck, what had I done? A rapid succession of terrible scenarios ran through my head. Nessie deciding she'd had enough of me and leaving. Nessie going for a walk and getting stuck somewhere in the sun. Nessie hurt, unable to call me.

Call me . . . my phone! I yanked it out of my pocket and checked for any messages. My heart sank when there weren't any. What the fuck was I going to do? I leaned against the counter and tried to take deep breaths. I had to do something to figure out what was going on. If she'd left me, she would have packed something. If her clothes were gone, she was, too. I took a minute to get a grip on myself, then I cleared my throat and went back down the hall.

All her clothes were still in the dresser. Her brush and other hair stuff, even her makeup, were still in the bathroom. Her father's picture was still on the bookcase in the living room, and her mother's cookbook was still in the kitchen. She wouldn't leave without those things. If she wasn't gone for good, I had at least a small chance to keep her. I still had to figure out where she'd gone, though. It was too far for her to walk to the library where she'd said she liked to go think sometimes.

I couldn't think. Every time I tried to imagine where she might have gone, I remembered how she had looked when she came to find me at the site. She'd been in so much pain. Fuck, if she'd done that to herself again . . .

I shook my head to clear it. I needed backup. I got my phone out again and called Leah.

"Hey, Jake," she answered.

"Leah, I need your help. Nessie's not here. Her clothes are still here, and some other things, but she's not."

"Jake—"

I interrupted her. "It's too far for her to walk to the library. I just don't know where the fuck she would have gone."

"Okay."

"She could fucking kill herself out there, Leah. God, if she's hurt—"

"Jacob, calm down. Nessie is sitting on my couch right now, safe and sound."

It took me a second to understand. "She's there?"

"Yeah."

For a brief moment, I felt like laughing. Nessie was okay! I ran my fingers through my hair. "I'll be there in a few."

We hung up, and I took a few deep breaths as I grabbed my keys and ran out of the house. As I drove, my thoughts kept prodding around the question of why Nessie didn't leave me a note or even a voicemail. She had to know I wouldn't care if she went to Leah's. It was nice to know that she had a friend.

I knocked once on Leah's door before I opened it. "Leah? Ness?"

"We're downstairs, Jake," Leah called.

I went down the steps and turned to see Nessie standing up. She'd been crying recently, and she looked nervous, but God, she was beautiful. I picked her up, too relieved to know she wasn't gone and she was safe. She hugged me back tightly. Once that relief settled, I just wanted answers. I set her down and grabbed her arms.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Nessie?" Leah got up, but I ignored her.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I wasn't thinking. I just needed to talk to someone."

"A note, Nessie. A fucking message would have been nice."

"Jacob, calm down," Leah said. "Come talk to me."

I didn't want to fucking talk to her; I wanted Nessie to answer my goddamn question. I lifted my arm out of Leah's grasp, pushing her away. The baby must have taken her equilibrium, because it didn't take much for her to lose her balance. She started to fall, and Nessie and I reached out to grab her. Sam caught her and set her up straight. I hadn't even noticed him in the room. Before I could say anything, he pushed me back hard enough to make me let go of Nessie. My fists clenched, and I very nearly punched his teeth out.

"You damn well better get a hold of your temper around my wife, Jacob. A fall like that could kill the baby, and you know it."

I did know it. He was right; I needed to get a grip on myself. I looked down and counted to thirty, reminding myself after each number that Leah and the baby she was carrying were fragile now.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I looked up at Leah. "I really am sorry, Leah."

She came up to me and took my hand. "I know. Come on."

I followed her. I could only imagine what she wanted to say to me. She took the stairs slowly and turned to me once we reached the living room.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She smiled and sat down. "You know me, Jake. I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about."

I scoffed. "You don't need to be."

"Really?" I could feel her eyes on me as I started to pace. "Nessie told me about the fight."

"She wants a baby, Leah. A fucking baby."

"Yeah. Well, it is what most women want. A family. Some stability. Something she can really feel like she's a part of." She sighed and put her hand over her lower stomach. "I'm still not sure I can handle this. For me, that stability is a prison. It means I can't take a job and work whatever hours I want. Until this baby is born, I can't even work at all. I can't do shit. Most women would be okay with that for the sake of their baby's life. I'm only making myself okay with it because I love Sam too much to hurt him."

"What's your point?" I asked.

She patted the sofa beside her. "Sit down, Jake. You're making me nervous." I did, and she took my hand. "My point is that my reason for not wanting children goes back to before my brother died. I'm willing to bet your reason goes back to before you were diagnosed bipolar. Do you even know what it is?"

I pulled my hand out of her grasp and leaned forward. "Do I really need a reason, Leah. I don't like kids. I could even go so far as to say that I hate them."

"No, you don't. I know you don't, Jacob. I've seen you around kids before."

I looked over at her. "When the hell have you seen me around kids?"

"Once at Christmas. There was also that year for my birthday you came over and my mom's friend had her gaggle. I'm not saying I've seen you get cozy around them and let them play jungle gym all over you. I'm saying you don't hate children. If you did, you wouldn't have cared one bit when Casey broke her arm."

I shook my head. "She was screaming and wouldn't shut up."

"So you picked her up and brought her inside so her dad could take over? You could have just left her there. She was eight years old with a broken arm; she could have walked in the house herself."

She was challenging me. I sure as hell didn't want to admit it was working. The memory of that little girl falling out of the tree and the moment of stunned silence before she started to scream made me flinch. I'd taken her inside because I felt bad for her. "No, I couldn't have."

Leah patted my shoulder. "You're right. You couldn't have, because you don't hate children."

I leaned back. "I still don't want one."

She smiled. "I know. I'm not going to try to convince you that you do. But, I am going to tell you that you're an asshole."

"I know."

"Do you want to know why I say that?" She raised her eyebrows.

I shrugged. "Not really. Why do you say that?"

"You told Nessie that you'd rather be alone that be a father. I get that; I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm not telling you that you should feel otherwise. But she came over here to talk to me because she's terrified of getting pregnant. She's afraid that if something happens, you're going to make her leave. You need to fix that. Would you really do that?"

I looked up at her and shook my head. "No. God, no, Leah. If she got pregnant . . . Fuck, it scares me, too. But I wouldn't toss her out. I love her, for Christ's sake."

"She loves you, too. I think you need to take her home and really have a heart to heart with her. Think about the real reason why you don't want to have kids, and make sure she knows you'd stick around if something happened." She took my hand and squeezed. "Remember that she wants to have a family with you, which means she thinks you're pretty damn special. Don't make her think otherwise, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay." I was going to do my damndest to fix things between us. "Thanks, Leah."

She leaned in and wrapped her arms around my neck. I hugged her back. "You're welcome, Jake. It breaks my heart to see you two fighting, so stop it. Go tell her you love her."

I stood up. "You coming?"

She shook her head. "No. My stomach hurts; I think I've done enough walking around for today. Have Ness come say goodbye, will you?"

"Yeah. You want to lie down?" I leaned down to pick her up, but she stopped me.

"No. I'll have Sam take me to bed in a little bit. Thanks, though."

I knelt down to hug her one more time and kissed her head. "Okay. Promise me you won't start walking as soon as I'm out of the room."

She snorted. "I promise. I'm not that stupid."

"All right." I squeezed her shoulder and went to get Nessie.

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><p>AN: Thanks for reading!


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